Feel like you’re drowning? Sinking fast? Ready to jump ship?
Apr 2011
I’ve been in the same boat!
Tired of the daily squabbles with your business partner? Feeling discouraged about the relationship in general? Angry with yourself for entering into the partnership in the first place?
I know exactly how you feel. There were times when I was so frustrated that I just wanted to give up. In those moments, I felt like all hope for a successful relationship was lost.
But, what if, for just a moment, you entertain the thought that the problem is not your partner? What if it’s YOU?
If a wave of denial just washed over you, read on – this is for YOU!
What if:
- it’s YOUR doing?
- the misunderstanding is on YOUR end?
- YOU don’t really know how to communicate with your partner?
- YOU obsess over your partner’s faults, rather than focusing on his assets, strengths & contributions?
Not until I embraced the idea that I actually might have something to do with my problems did I start to see a turnaround.
So, I started by listening – really listening.
- Are you really hearing what your partner is trying to say?
- Are you making a concerted effort to appreciate where he’s coming from?
- Are you trying hard to understand his point of view?
I also tried to listen to how words coming out of my mouth sounded. How was I coming across? Was I encouraging? Accusatory? Empathetic?
If it’s too unpleasant for you to admit that you might actually be the problem (you’re hardly alone — after all, who wants to admit that?), how about at least starting by being open to the possibility that perhaps BOTH of you are contributors?
I recommend trying to get honest with yourself first. Stop playing the proverbial blame game. Shift your thinking. Instead of dwelling on the “wrongs,” focus on what’s working. Try to see things from your partner’s perspective. Stop judging. Work to understand.
It will help keep your relationship afloat!
Hardy Hasenfuss
April 2011
